What do you do? What do you do when someone bothers you in a chat room or in a public yahoo or MSN group? What do you do when someone writes damaging remarks about you or about other people inside of that chat room, message board or Yahoo or MSN group? We are human beings and so we all react differently when that happens.And if you go online and stay online long enough, it probably will happen to you.Let us examine why this happens, when it happens and what people can do about these injustices.Where? If you ever enter any kind of chat room, message board or other internet public group or private group where lots of people are gathered, you more than likely will be the victim of an unscrupulous person, a stalker or an abuser.Why? This will happen just because of the vast numbers and varieties of individuals that are online at one time.Think about it.Groups and chat rooms are gatherings, basically mobs.Some are civilized and some are quite uncivilized, depending on the topic.And as history goes, in any mob there are always a few, if not more, trouble-makers, stalkers, abusers and more of similar attitudes.You are bound to bump into one or two.Now you will be prepared when this happens because this article will give you suggestions and ideas on how to handle the situation.So, the answer to where is everywhere.There is practically no place online where you are safe from those offending individuals.Yes, you might go years and years online without seeing one of them, but chances are, even you, eventually will come across an online bully, abuser or stalker.So, remember, they are everywhere even when you do not see them.Think of the real world.Do you see the murderer or rapist before he commits the crime? Sometimes, not most times, not likely.So trust yourself and know that these people are out there online, right where you are.These people are online in public groups, private groups, in your message boxes, in your chat rooms, even in your professional groups.When? Abusers, hackers, offenders, and stalkers are online at all times of day.They do not have a regular work schedule so do not be surprised when you see these people online morning night or day or middle of the night.Remember the net is 23/7 and it is global.That means when you think that everyone is sleeping, there is an entire world out there wide awake and getting ready to go to school, work or clubs.You cannot be guaranteed there are no bullies at any particular time of day or night.How do they choose you? These are the reasons that you might be chosen to be their victim.They admire you and your work and or they are jealous of you or your work or position in society.They know someone you know and you are a victim by connection.They are a little paranoid and perhaps take something personal that was not personal.They might have chosen you because they know you are single or unconnected.They might have chosen you because of the way that you type.(I will explain this in detail).They might have chosen you because you are the type of person they do not like (i.E.They might be prejudice or judgmental).They might have chosen you because you stand out (i.E.If you are Japanese and everyone else is Spanish; that is just an example).They might have chosen you due to your age or your political affiliation.Many times they choose people who put their pictures online.They will choose you either because they love your picture or hate your picture.Either way, you can't win with an abuser, stalker, online offender.If you must put a picture online, make it a picture that is blurred, unclear, or very small.And use the same picture all the time.Never post more than one picture of yourself online.Make the picture "read-only".Many times the abusers choose victims who reveal a lot about themselves.The more information they have about you, the better they can bully, abuse and stalk you.Bottom line is that when abusers, bullies and stalkers choose their victims, it does not matter what or whom the victim is.They choose their victims just because they need a victim, any victim.And generally they choose people who are unconnected, single, young or alone.Sometimes they choose someone that they are jealous of.Don't take it personal because when you are free of them they will just move on to another victim, a different victim.Typing. When you research enough about bullies and stalkers you will find that they actually do choose some victims by the way that the victims type.They are known to choose people who type slow, people who type in all caps or type in all small letters.They tend to choose women, and young people.(Yes some choose men, but the majority chosen are women and children, especially single women and children who are unconnected).Sometimes they choose people that they know.So, type in both capital letters and in small letters.Remedy. So, how do you stop or slow an abuser, stalker, bully down? The very best way, and most proven effective way to slow these people down or bore them or stop them is to totally ignore them.Any attention you give to them is attention they are receiving.That is what they are after.They want the attention, even if they get negative attention, that is their goal.So, how do you give them no or less attention? If you are in a group, and the person posts something directed at you, do not respond to that person.It is as simple as that.What do the experts tell you to do when your child has a temper tantrum? They tell you to ignore them and do not give them what they want.You do the same thing with the abuser, bully or stalker, never give them attention.Remember this, it does not matter what they post about you or what they say to you, your main goal should be to totally ignore the bully.Think about it.If someone posts something offensive to you, why bother to give that person attention.Let the group see that person for whom they really are, and let the whole group see that you are simply ignoring the person.That is one way to have them back off.And guess what? If they do not back off when you ignore them, your next step is to ignore them again.Now you have it.You are an expert when it comes to avoiding bullies, abusers and stalkers.(In the case of abusers or stalkers or bullies that actually threaten your life, you have many other options besides ignoring them but all first actions must be to ignore them.Begin a journal of times, dates, actions and cut and paste their offenses.Keep complete records.And keep ignoring them.Now, remember this vitally important step.If the bully continues after you have ignored him, ignore, ignore and ignore him more.That is the only solution that will help you.Any attention that you give to a bully is exactly what that bully wants.So do not give any bully any attention.Never address them by name; never address any communication or emails or mail or calls to them; completely ignore them.At the same time that you ignore the bully, respond to all your friends and your co-workers and others in the group or chat room.Here's one important thing, when you begin your IGNORE campaign, do not even tell the bully that you are ignoring him.That defeats the purpose.So many people plan to ignore someone and the first thing they do is to type, "I am ignoring you".Do not do that.Just begin ignoring the bully without letting him know verbally that you are ignoring him.He will soon get the message and he and the entire group will see that he is just talking to himself.When you choose your email accounts, have one personal account for your family or friends, and have a totally different email address or name that you use online at message boards and in chat rooms.If you want more answers, suggestions and ideas about how to handle abusers, bullies and workplace bullies, go to the library and get the book called, The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker.This is a handbook that every human being should have on their bookshelves.Gaven DeBecker is a former detective and investigator and has authored many books on the subject of safety and security, including the book about children and child safety called, Protecting The Gift.If you are or ever were a victim of a bully, verbal abuser, or stalker, you need to have this book on your bookshelves, The Gift Of Fear.More Ideas. .When typing in chat rooms or message boards or other internet groups, post that you are married.Show a connection to people, showing that you are not alone.When you type in profiles or type about yourself, type "we", instead of I.(Yes, I take my own advice but ezine@expertauthor.Com would not permit me to use the word, "we" since I am one author of these articles.Have no fear, I might be alone typing the article or writing it (I am the author) but I am very well connected in my life, my family and my community.Type in both caps and small letters always.Try not to post pictures on the net.Do not give information about where you hang out, where you stay, where you go to school or where you go to work.(IF you do this you could give yourself an online stalker that moves into your real life).Those are some protections.Your other protections are reporting these individuals.In another article we will tell you how and where to report these abusers, bullies and stalkers.Bully Tricks. Do not allow a bully to trick you into staying quiet and not reporting him.One of the most effective tricks that online bullies use is to tell their victims that reporting does nothing.They pressure their victims into thinking and into believing that if the victim reports the incident, that the authorities will do nothing.Many times in chat rooms, bullies spread the word that reporting does nothing.If you are a victim of an online bully, remember that you should not believe any of the propaganda that the bully spouts out.Reporting does work.It might take some good organization and proper reporting but reporting online bullies definitely works.If you are ever bullied by anyone, in work, school or anywhere else, remember that you are not alone and that things will begin to get better as soon as you decide to reveal the bully's secrets.Do not protect the bully by not telling on the bully.Protect yourself and TELL!Updated May 2008.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Stop Online Abusers, Bullies And Stalkers! Beginning Protections
What do you do? What do you do when someone bothers you in a chat room or in a public yahoo or MSN group? What do you do when someone writes damaging remarks about you or about other people inside of that chat room, message board or Yahoo or MSN group? We are human beings and so we all react differently when that happens.And if you go online and stay online long enough, it probably will happen to you.Let us examine why this happens, when it happens and what people can do about these injustices.Where? If you ever enter any kind of chat room, message board or other internet public group or private group where lots of people are gathered, you more than likely will be the victim of an unscrupulous person, a stalker or an abuser.Why? This will happen just because of the vast numbers and varieties of individuals that are online at one time.Think about it.Groups and chat rooms are gatherings, basically mobs.Some are civilized and some are quite uncivilized, depending on the topic.And as history goes, in any mob there are always a few, if not more, trouble-makers, stalkers, abusers and more of similar attitudes.You are bound to bump into one or two.Now you will be prepared when this happens because this article will give you suggestions and ideas on how to handle the situation.So, the answer to where is everywhere.There is practically no place online where you are safe from those offending individuals.Yes, you might go years and years online without seeing one of them, but chances are, even you, eventually will come across an online bully, abuser or stalker.So, remember, they are everywhere even when you do not see them.Think of the real world.Do you see the murderer or rapist before he commits the crime? Sometimes, not most times, not likely.So trust yourself and know that these people are out there online, right where you are.These people are online in public groups, private groups, in your message boxes, in your chat rooms, even in your professional groups.When? Abusers, hackers, offenders, and stalkers are online at all times of day.They do not have a regular work schedule so do not be surprised when you see these people online morning night or day or middle of the night.Remember the net is 23/7 and it is global.That means when you think that everyone is sleeping, there is an entire world out there wide awake and getting ready to go to school, work or clubs.You cannot be guaranteed there are no bullies at any particular time of day or night.How do they choose you? These are the reasons that you might be chosen to be their victim.They admire you and your work and or they are jealous of you or your work or position in society.They know someone you know and you are a victim by connection.They are a little paranoid and perhaps take something personal that was not personal.They might have chosen you because they know you are single or unconnected.They might have chosen you because of the way that you type.(I will explain this in detail).They might have chosen you because you are the type of person they do not like (i.E.They might be prejudice or judgmental).They might have chosen you because you stand out (i.E.If you are Japanese and everyone else is Spanish; that is just an example).They might have chosen you due to your age or your political affiliation.Many times they choose people who put their pictures online.They will choose you either because they love your picture or hate your picture.Either way, you can't win with an abuser, stalker, online offender.If you must put a picture online, make it a picture that is blurred, unclear, or very small.And use the same picture all the time.Never post more than one picture of yourself online.Make the picture "read-only".Many times the abusers choose victims who reveal a lot about themselves.The more information they have about you, the better they can bully, abuse and stalk you.Bottom line is that when abusers, bullies and stalkers choose their victims, it does not matter what or whom the victim is.They choose their victims just because they need a victim, any victim.And generally they choose people who are unconnected, single, young or alone.Sometimes they choose someone that they are jealous of.Don't take it personal because when you are free of them they will just move on to another victim, a different victim.Typing. When you research enough about bullies and stalkers you will find that they actually do choose some victims by the way that the victims type.They are known to choose people who type slow, people who type in all caps or type in all small letters.They tend to choose women, and young people.(Yes some choose men, but the majority chosen are women and children, especially single women and children who are unconnected).Sometimes they choose people that they know.So, type in both capital letters and in small letters.Remedy. So, how do you stop or slow an abuser, stalker, bully down? The very best way, and most proven effective way to slow these people down or bore them or stop them is to totally ignore them.Any attention you give to them is attention they are receiving.That is what they are after.They want the attention, even if they get negative attention, that is their goal.So, how do you give them no or less attention? If you are in a group, and the person posts something directed at you, do not respond to that person.It is as simple as that.What do the experts tell you to do when your child has a temper tantrum? They tell you to ignore them and do not give them what they want.You do the same thing with the abuser, bully or stalker, never give them attention.Remember this, it does not matter what they post about you or what they say to you, your main goal should be to totally ignore the bully.Think about it.If someone posts something offensive to you, why bother to give that person attention.Let the group see that person for whom they really are, and let the whole group see that you are simply ignoring the person.That is one way to have them back off.And guess what? If they do not back off when you ignore them, your next step is to ignore them again.Now you have it.You are an expert when it comes to avoiding bullies, abusers and stalkers.(In the case of abusers or stalkers or bullies that actually threaten your life, you have many other options besides ignoring them but all first actions must be to ignore them.Begin a journal of times, dates, actions and cut and paste their offenses.Keep complete records.And keep ignoring them.Now, remember this vitally important step.If the bully continues after you have ignored him, ignore, ignore and ignore him more.That is the only solution that will help you.Any attention that you give to a bully is exactly what that bully wants.So do not give any bully any attention.Never address them by name; never address any communication or emails or mail or calls to them; completely ignore them.At the same time that you ignore the bully, respond to all your friends and your co-workers and others in the group or chat room.Here's one important thing, when you begin your IGNORE campaign, do not even tell the bully that you are ignoring him.That defeats the purpose.So many people plan to ignore someone and the first thing they do is to type, "I am ignoring you".Do not do that.Just begin ignoring the bully without letting him know verbally that you are ignoring him.He will soon get the message and he and the entire group will see that he is just talking to himself.When you choose your email accounts, have one personal account for your family or friends, and have a totally different email address or name that you use online at message boards and in chat rooms.If you want more answers, suggestions and ideas about how to handle abusers, bullies and workplace bullies, go to the library and get the book called, The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker.This is a handbook that every human being should have on their bookshelves.Gaven DeBecker is a former detective and investigator and has authored many books on the subject of safety and security, including the book about children and child safety called, Protecting The Gift.If you are or ever were a victim of a bully, verbal abuser, or stalker, you need to have this book on your bookshelves, The Gift Of Fear.More Ideas. .When typing in chat rooms or message boards or other internet groups, post that you are married.Show a connection to people, showing that you are not alone.When you type in profiles or type about yourself, type "we", instead of I.(Yes, I take my own advice but ezine@expertauthor.Com would not permit me to use the word, "we" since I am one author of these articles.Have no fear, I might be alone typing the article or writing it (I am the author) but I am very well connected in my life, my family and my community.Type in both caps and small letters always.Try not to post pictures on the net.Do not give information about where you hang out, where you stay, where you go to school or where you go to work.(IF you do this you could give yourself an online stalker that moves into your real life).Those are some protections.Your other protections are reporting these individuals.In another article we will tell you how and where to report these abusers, bullies and stalkers.Bully Tricks. Do not allow a bully to trick you into staying quiet and not reporting him.One of the most effective tricks that online bullies use is to tell their victims that reporting does nothing.They pressure their victims into thinking and into believing that if the victim reports the incident, that the authorities will do nothing.Many times in chat rooms, bullies spread the word that reporting does nothing.If you are a victim of an online bully, remember that you should not believe any of the propaganda that the bully spouts out.Reporting does work.It might take some good organization and proper reporting but reporting online bullies definitely works.If you are ever bullied by anyone, in work, school or anywhere else, remember that you are not alone and that things will begin to get better as soon as you decide to reveal the bully's secrets.Do not protect the bully by not telling on the bully.Protect yourself and TELL!Updated May 2008.
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